How to terminate parental rights due to abandonment?

As a stepparent, you generally cannot independently terminate the biological mother’s parental rights merely because she has been absent, incarcerated, or has a history of substance abuse. In California, the usual procedure would be for you and your husband to pursue a stepparent adoption. If the mother refuses to consent, your husband may seek to have the child declared free from her custody and control based on abandonment.

California Family Code section 7822 may apply when one parent has left the child with the other parent for at least one year without support or communication and intended to abandon the child. A prolonged failure to communicate or provide support can create evidence of that intent, although the mother may attempt to explain her absence or show recent efforts to reestablish contact.

Because your stepson is 12, his consent would also be required for the adoption. This is a fact-intensive and permanent proceeding, so you and your husband should consult a California adoption or family-law attorney to evaluate the custody orders, history of contact and support, incarceration records, and the child’s wishes.