What can I do if the mother of my child is making visitations really hard to deal with?

You can (and most likely should) bring this behavior to the attention of the court. It does seem like your time with your child is being unnecessarily interfered with by your ex. The court has the power to enter orders against your ex prohibiting this kind of behavior. You need to file an "RFO" (a "Request for Order) with the court. Describe everything your ex is doing; it will help if you keep a journal or other record of these events as they occur. Most courthouses have a family law self-help center where you can get free assistance filling out the forms. They cannot give you legal advice, but they can help you fill out the form and file it with the court. Once the RFO is filed, you need to serve it on your ex. You will then go to the court hearing that will be scheduled when you file your request; that date will likely be about 4-6 weeks out. Your ex has the right to file an opposition to your request; she gets to tell her side of the story. You can then reply to that opposition before the court hearing. These are time-sensitive dates, so make sure you get everything filled out and filed in time (the self-help center can provide the dates). Once you are before the judge, assume they have read your papers, so you don't need to read them to the court. Just provide a summary of why you are in court asking for this relief, and be prepared to answer the judge's questions. If you want to provide evidence to the judge, such as the journal I mentioned above, be aware that there are rules of evidence that must be followed. The self-help center cannot help you with that. If you can afford to hire a lawyer to help you i encourage you to dop that; if not, go into court anyway. You will figure it out, the judge will hear your story, and if the facts are as you describe here, I believe you will get favorable orders from the court.

Good luck.

What you’re describing sounds extremely frustrating—and more importantly, it may involve violations of your custody/visitation rights and potentially inappropriate conduct by the other parent.

In California, once there is a court-ordered custody and visitation arrangement, both parents are expected to follow it. Actions like:

• Interfering with your ability to communicate with your child
• Excessive or intrusive monitoring (constant video calls, demanding access to your home)
• Using law enforcement (wellness checks) in a harassing way
• Blocking communication while still making demands

can become serious issues in family court, especially if they impact your relationship with your child or the child’s well-being.

The good news is that you’ve already done something very important—you’ve documented everything through TalkingParents, which courts often rely on as evidence.

That said, this is not something you should try to handle informally. The most effective way to address this is through the court system.

It is strongly recommended that you consult with a Family Law attorney in your area who handles custody and visitation matters. A lawyer can:

• Review your current custody order
• Determine whether the mother is in violation of the order
• Help you file the appropriate motion (such as a Request for Order)
• Ask the court to set boundaries, modify custody/visitation terms, or address harassment
• Potentially seek court intervention regarding communication limits and co-parenting conduct

Depending on the facts, the court can order:

• Structured communication rules
• Limits on unnecessary contact during your parenting time
• Enforcement of your visitation rights
• Other remedies to protect your role as a parent

Because these situations can escalate—and because your rights as a parent are at stake—getting proper legal guidance is the best next step.

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