My son is 15 years old and wants to come live with me. How do I go about doing this?

Here is my dilemma in answering you, since I don't want to offend you or suggest that your sense of what is taking place in your son's head is correct or not. I have been an attorney for the past 40 years and a divorce lawyer for 38 1/2 of those years and during the past 38 1/2 years, I have handled many child custody matters and the greatest difficulty is when a child says one thing to one parent and says the exact opposite to the other parent, it says more about the child and his need to appease both parents instead of what might be best for the child. 

When you said that the NJ judge changed physical custody from you to your ex, I don't think you did anything wrong.

My sense is that the judge was caught between a rock and a hard place with your ex telling the court that your son wanted the change.

Your son is now presumably in his freshman year of high school, and he may absolutely want the change, or it might be because he is unhappy with his school setting or any one of a million other reasons, and the question is whether the change is truly what is best for him at this stage. 

My sense is that if you speak with your ex, he will tell you that this is nonsense and there is no basis for the change. What you are going to need to do is understand better what the real motivation is for your son saying he wants the change and what he expects to take place if the change occurs. If your son can't articulate the reason for the change, then how can he speak with a judge about his reasoning if an application is filed with the court?

For a lawyer to simply tell you that your son is of sufficient age to make that call is not a guarantee because the judge will most likely want to meet with your son, and he needs to show maturity in his position and his understanding of his decision and its impact on everyone who lives around him.