Ex-friend sent message to college alumni org claiming I committed multiple sexual assaults. Claims are false. What do I do to address this?

Thank you for your question, this comes up a lot at our firm. As a defamation attorney based in Century City, we handle many reputation and defamation matters, including cases involving false accusations made through social media or private messages to employers or organizations. These types of allegations can have severe professional consequences, particularly in industries like film and media. In a recent matter our firm obtained a $1 million judgment for a client who was falsely accused of serious allegations, so we understand how damaging these situations can be and how carefully they must be handled.

Based on what you describe, your situation raises several issues under defamation law.

Defamation generally requires four core elements. First, there must be a false statement of fact. Second, the statement must be communicated to a third party, which is referred to as publication. Third, the person making the statement must have acted at least negligently in making a false statement. Fourth, the statement must cause harm to the person’s reputation.

Accusing someone of committing sexual assault is typically considered defamation per se. In many jurisdictions, including California, statements that falsely accuse someone of criminal conduct fall into this category because the harm to reputation is presumed. If someone sent messages to a university alumni board claiming you committed sexual assaults and those statements are false, that could satisfy several of the key elements of defamation.

The fact that you have screenshots is important. Preserving evidence is often the first and most critical step. Screenshots, message headers, timestamps, and any responses from the recipients can become key evidence. You should also keep records showing the impact of the allegations, such as stepping down from the board or any professional consequences.

You also mentioned stress, lost networking opportunities, and disruption to your career. Those types of impacts can be relevant when evaluating damages in a defamation case. Particularly in industries like film where reputation and relationships are critical, false allegations can cause measurable professional harm.

With respect to your question about a cease and desist letter, that is often the first practical step before considering litigation. A properly drafted letter from counsel can demand that the person stop repeating the statements, remove any written accusations, and retract the claims. In some situations, a demand letter can resolve the issue if the person realizes the legal exposure they face.

However, it is important to understand that cease and desist letters have no automatic legal force. They are essentially a formal demand. If the person refuses to retract the statements or continues spreading them, the next step may involve filing a defamation lawsuit. That process can allow you to pursue damages and obtain court orders requiring removal of defamatory statements.

Cost is also a legitimate concern. Defamation litigation can be complex and expensive, which is why many attorneys try to resolve these matters early through investigation and pre litigation outreach where possible. An experienced defamation attorney can also evaluate whether there are additional claims available depending on the facts, such as interference with professional opportunities.

The most important steps right now are to preserve all evidence, avoid engaging publicly about the accusations, and have an attorney review the exact statements and circumstances. Small details such as exactly what was written, who received the message, and whether the statements were repeated can significantly affect the legal analysis.

False accusations of serious misconduct are among the most damaging types of defamation, especially in professional communities like the film industry. While these cases can be complex, the law does provide remedies when someone knowingly or negligently spreads false allegations that harm another person’s reputation.